Oh, Simon...
Jan. 29th, 2007 07:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tgrayficHow I love you sometimes!!!
The Media Guy's Mea Culpa
By Simon Dumenco
Published: January 29, 2007
Editor's note: In lieu of a Media Guy column this week, we're publishing the full text of Simon Dumenco's statement from his press conference where he apologized for his recent unfortunate use of hateful language.
First off, I want to apologize to Simon Cowell, the fans of "American Idol," and not only all big-chested, squared-haired British men everywhere, but all ridiculous British people period, including Rowan Atkinson, Queen Elizabeth, that soccer player with the spiky hair and his Spice Girl wife, the other Spice Girls, Tony Blair, Madonna, J.K. Rowling, and Benny Hill, if he's still alive.
I realize now that I used a phrase in describing Mr. Cowell that is unacceptable in any context or circumstance -- even if, say, your shrink just changed your meds, which, by the way, he had. And even if you were being heckled at the time by someone who clearly got off on pushing your buttons, which happened to be the case. And even if you were drunk, which, for the record, I was then, but I'm not now. Also for the record, this water bottle I've got right here, it just has water in it. You can taste it if you want to.
Anyway, I realize that in not only saying what I said but repeating it five times -- and then also arranging for the production of a limited-edition T-shirt with the phrase that's available at selected boutiques including Kitson on North Robertson Boulevard in Beverly Hills -- I ruined the moods of ridiculous, differently chested, alternatively coiffed British men everywhere. I can neither defend nor explain my outburst or my licensing agreement.
I can also no longer deny to myself that there are issues I obviously need to examine deep, deep within my own soul, and I've not only asked for help from the Rev. Al Sharpton and the Rev. Jesse Jackson but for forgiveness from Donald Trump.
I recognize that it's presumptuous of me to ever hope that Mr. Cowell might ever accept my abject, sincere, genuine, devout, heartily heartfelt apology.
And so before I ask for Mr. Cowell's forgiveness, I've decided to embark on a journey to me, to that place within the deepest inner part of my soul, where I intend to begin the process of healing the hurt and the harm that my hurt-inducing actions have so harmfully caused.
I have a long, important journey on which to embark, and I recognize that an important first step toward acknowledging the length and importance of that journey is to speak out honestly and candidly, as I'm doing right now, in regards to my intention of taking the first step toward embarking on that journey. I recognize that I have a lot of work to do on myself, and the only way to get that work done is to take the all-important first step of deciding to acknowledge how much work I must do on myself, and then actually doing it.
I also want to apologize to my longtime publicist for firing her by e-mail. As you know, I briefly hired my sister as my new publicist, and then fired her too, also by e-mail. So, Sis, sorry-and call me back, OK? I've left you three voice-mail messages already.
And I also want to apologize to Howard Rubenstein for not hiring him, but Kelly Mullens from 42West called me back first. You snooze, you lose.
I just want to add that I welcome the chance to meet with British community leaders in person, by satellite, or via instant message to apologize and to begin a dialogue about what I can do to begin the process of healing the hurtful wounds that I inflicted on the millions of be-wounded.
I know just one press conference will not end this, and I intend to let my future actions-specifically, additional press conferences-prove my sincerity.
~*~
Mwahaha!!!
The Media Guy's Mea Culpa
By Simon Dumenco
Published: January 29, 2007
Editor's note: In lieu of a Media Guy column this week, we're publishing the full text of Simon Dumenco's statement from his press conference where he apologized for his recent unfortunate use of hateful language.
First off, I want to apologize to Simon Cowell, the fans of "American Idol," and not only all big-chested, squared-haired British men everywhere, but all ridiculous British people period, including Rowan Atkinson, Queen Elizabeth, that soccer player with the spiky hair and his Spice Girl wife, the other Spice Girls, Tony Blair, Madonna, J.K. Rowling, and Benny Hill, if he's still alive.
I realize now that I used a phrase in describing Mr. Cowell that is unacceptable in any context or circumstance -- even if, say, your shrink just changed your meds, which, by the way, he had. And even if you were being heckled at the time by someone who clearly got off on pushing your buttons, which happened to be the case. And even if you were drunk, which, for the record, I was then, but I'm not now. Also for the record, this water bottle I've got right here, it just has water in it. You can taste it if you want to.
Anyway, I realize that in not only saying what I said but repeating it five times -- and then also arranging for the production of a limited-edition T-shirt with the phrase that's available at selected boutiques including Kitson on North Robertson Boulevard in Beverly Hills -- I ruined the moods of ridiculous, differently chested, alternatively coiffed British men everywhere. I can neither defend nor explain my outburst or my licensing agreement.
I can also no longer deny to myself that there are issues I obviously need to examine deep, deep within my own soul, and I've not only asked for help from the Rev. Al Sharpton and the Rev. Jesse Jackson but for forgiveness from Donald Trump.
I recognize that it's presumptuous of me to ever hope that Mr. Cowell might ever accept my abject, sincere, genuine, devout, heartily heartfelt apology.
And so before I ask for Mr. Cowell's forgiveness, I've decided to embark on a journey to me, to that place within the deepest inner part of my soul, where I intend to begin the process of healing the hurt and the harm that my hurt-inducing actions have so harmfully caused.
I have a long, important journey on which to embark, and I recognize that an important first step toward acknowledging the length and importance of that journey is to speak out honestly and candidly, as I'm doing right now, in regards to my intention of taking the first step toward embarking on that journey. I recognize that I have a lot of work to do on myself, and the only way to get that work done is to take the all-important first step of deciding to acknowledge how much work I must do on myself, and then actually doing it.
I also want to apologize to my longtime publicist for firing her by e-mail. As you know, I briefly hired my sister as my new publicist, and then fired her too, also by e-mail. So, Sis, sorry-and call me back, OK? I've left you three voice-mail messages already.
And I also want to apologize to Howard Rubenstein for not hiring him, but Kelly Mullens from 42West called me back first. You snooze, you lose.
I just want to add that I welcome the chance to meet with British community leaders in person, by satellite, or via instant message to apologize and to begin a dialogue about what I can do to begin the process of healing the hurtful wounds that I inflicted on the millions of be-wounded.
I know just one press conference will not end this, and I intend to let my future actions-specifically, additional press conferences-prove my sincerity.
~*~
Mwahaha!!!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 12:55 pm (UTC)He is such a.... I don't know what to say here... let's just say that he is pedantic (I know he was just being sarcastic) even for an appology.
I cannot cope with him, really... I CAN'T.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 01:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 12:59 pm (UTC)I am going to blame it on the fact that I just woke up, but it took me about 1/2 way down to get it.
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Date: 2007-01-29 01:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 01:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 01:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 01:42 pm (UTC)~Ellen
no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 02:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 01:49 pm (UTC)OMG, I laughed so hard I knocked over my coffee mug. >.> I should probably get offended on the behalf of Rowan Atkinson, Queen Elizabeth, that soccer player with the spiky hair etc, (being in London and everything) but...the extent of his snarkiness just blew me away. I ♥ him.
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Date: 2007-01-29 02:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 02:15 pm (UTC)Thanks for the link!
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Date: 2007-01-29 02:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 07:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 07:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 07:02 pm (UTC)http://www.etonline.com/celebrities/news/38522/
maybe I am wrong because of the language (English is not mine) but I've got the feeling that he was mocking the whole "Isaiah Washington Begins Counseling....bla, bla
no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 11:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 08:14 pm (UTC)What the hell is Simon ON?!?!?!
LMFAO
He is a riot.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 08:46 pm (UTC)Yeah, Simon Cowell is an ass, but he is amusing in his assholeness! Don't know about Simon D, don't read his stuff anyway.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 11:03 pm (UTC)I love this man. Love him almost as much as I love Randy :)
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Date: 2007-01-30 04:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 11:07 pm (UTC)Thanks for posting, I was gonna but hadn't gotten to it yet.
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Date: 2007-01-30 01:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-30 09:52 pm (UTC)If I found out it's all bullshit, that no longer would matter because since Randy loves Simon, Simon gets my respect. Honestly, some of the time, I don't even know what he's talking about, I don't know enough to agree or disagree, but since he makes me laugh and he loves Randy, I like him. Probably couldn't handle him in RL but since I'll never know, what's it matter.
Funny how weird little stuff like that can get to someone.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-30 10:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-31 12:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-30 08:33 am (UTC)Do you have a link that I can follow to read all of Simon's columns?
Thanks for sharing this. :)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-30 01:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-30 07:47 pm (UTC)Looks like I will have to expand my flist reading time from 4 hours to 8 hours each day! :)
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Date: 2007-01-30 10:01 pm (UTC)There's also a yahoo group
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/simond/
that will email you his stuff as it comes out.
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Date: 2007-01-31 09:11 am (UTC)Thanks for pointing me in the right direction. :)
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Date: 2007-01-30 10:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-30 01:35 pm (UTC)